Illegal Immigrants making their way into Pittsburgh

Have you heard this story? Probably not because the stupid liberal whiny douchebags that write for newspapers feel guilty for it. Police picked up 6 illegals on our OWN PARKWAY.

Now why even post this? Well, it speaks to a multitude of problems. First, the next time your neighbor is collecting an unemployment check because his blue collar work ends for the summer and he gets temporarily laid off, well, here is a PERFECT job he could do in the meantime. Laying cable is just as honorable as running a business or teaching, and this is a job that should have been available, and frankly forced on, people in our country who don't want to work or take advantage of "laid off" time or welfare time. Guess what that means for you when people off welfare have to work? Less tax money taken out of your check.

Second of all, doesn't Verizon do checks on their subcontractors? When their cable is being laid and none of the guys speak English, isn't that troublesome?? If you are smart, you will mention your disgust to Verizon about who they keep company with.

And stop all this shit about "well were your grandparents born in this country?" No they weren't and frankly that was then and this is now and I don't give a shit. If you believe in that, let's just let everyone in, so they can suck up jobs, take handouts from the government and just drain our system dry like the old hard-ons did to that pool in the movie Cocoon. Plus my grandparents saved up for years and got the authorization to come here. They didn't sneak in when they weren't welcome.

Nobody's parents were born here except maybe the Indians, and don't give me that bullshit about this being their land. Ever see that movie Last of The Mohicans? Those fuckin savages!

Viva la Pittsburgh!

Gym Etiquette for Yinzers-Part 1

I know how much yinzers love their exercise. Here is a two part series about how to make our gyms more inviting, starting with better management.

Here are some tips for gym owners and employees:
-Say hello to me when I come in. If you go to any other business, you are greeted warmly. Every gym I go to has lukewarm staff. Nothing annoys us more when the workers who are human steroids pair up with other human steroids and clique off, making you feel like a douche if you can't bench 300 lbs. Just SMILE AND SAY HELLO when I come in. That is ALL I ask.
-Set the weights back with other weights and straighten the place up at night.
-Fix the equipment. Every fuckin gym has so much broken shit, from broken chairs to fucked up pulleys. It can't be that expensive, and when you sold me the membership, that is what was sold to me. If I wanted to be flaky with my membership, you would tell me to pound salt into my asshole and then threaten to take me to court for not paying, we should expect the same from you.
-Temperature is ALWAYS a problem in those places. A gym should be almost freezing. If my prick hasn't shrunk to the size of a grape, its not cold enough. Get a new AC unit, because I deserve it with the prices I am paying.
-You can never have too many machines. Go buy more.

Next time: Douchebag behavior at the gym by gym members...

Chances are your bumper sticker makes your look like a jagoff. Part 1

I was surprised to see my worthless little blog being featured as one of the blogs on the City Paper Website. Thanks to a few posts by individuals around other blogs and sites, the views have grown exponentially. Thank you to the fans out there, I know I am not the only one annoyed at some of the silly shit in this city.

If you like an article on here, please paste the link to the article on a forum somewhere, especially if it will piss off someone. My recent article about the Pirates was posted on a few forums and got hits, but I was shocked that no one sent me a nasty email or a post. Maybe many agree with me? I would like to hope, but probably not.

In a perhaps vain effort to get some interactivity going, I'd like to start the occasional 'bumper stickers' entry. That is, find bumper stickers that you think are gay beyond belief, post them to the discussion forum or send me an email and we can get it out there. As we decide which are best, we can go from there.

For my first entry on this topic, who thinks that these stickers are unbelievably annoying??



I see variations of them with this stupid kid pissing on a Ford logo or a Chevy Logo, or whatever. There is nothing cooler than kids doing watersports. If you have one of these stickers on your MOPAR, you are a jagoff, 1000%. Even gayer, you have THIS sticker to counter it:



I am annoyed by Greasemonkeys in general, but I'll save that for another entry. This is among one of the stupidest stickers out there, and you are embarrASSing yourself by placing it on a vehicle. Even it covers the most wretched rust spot, it is still worse.

Coincidentally, I own a "riceburner" and an "American" car and I can tell you the riceburner is 1000x more reliable than the shit coming out of Mexico, I mean Detroit.

Hope to hear about some of your favorites. Post them or email me at gravis187@yahoo.com.

Easy Fix to Make the Pittsburgh Pirates Better...

Want to make the Pittsburgh Pirates better? It's easy. Until they start winning, STOP GOING TO THE FUCKIN GAMES!!!!!!!

Here is the scenerio. You shop at Target, for example. I have NO problem with Target, this is purely an example. You go there and something really shitty happens. Everytime you buy something from there, its fucked up, the service sucks, employees are rude, whatever. If you went to target once, and had great experiences, you won't complain at that one shit experience. Maybe twice. But what if Target fucked you FOURTEEN TIMES. Would you still shop there? NO. SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING A TEAM WITH 14 LOSING SEASONS????

The latest in a string of articles talks about them trying to be media darlings, and how with good feeling they'll break 500. What a load of shit. And don't give me this loyalty bullshit. You wouldn't be loyal to ANYONE who let you down 14 times. The Pirates should be no different.

Instead you get that sports lovin' jackass who would watch Kangaroo boxing if it was popular, and that stupid bitch who likes going to the games because they're fun. Stupid. You continue to pay, they continue to make money and nothing changes, including the whining at how much they suck, and the perpetual, "WOW, they may break 500 this year?" Yeah, and I may grow a third penis. Err second.

Here is my solution, since obviously what they have tried hasn't worked in 14 years. No matter how much you love baseball, no matter how much you like watching the game on the TV, boycott them. Don't go to games, don't click on their channel, don't put them on the radio. Let them know why you won't see them, and DON'T PUSSY OUT WHEN THEY THREATEN TO SELL THE TEAM. THEY WILL NEVER EVER EVER SELL THAT TEAM ANYWHERE.

If you did this to Target, guess what? The owners would realize the disgust of the customers, and spend money and time investing in being the best. On the contrary, if you continued to shop at Target, and they sucked but made money, they have less impetus to change.

Hit that piece of shit Kevin McClatchy, owner and stingy cocksucker where it hurts. He will be forced to spend more on the team, and in the long run, that suffering year or two without baseball may payoff to a lifetime franchise of fun.

This is perhaps the best analogy ever, and I am proud and I hope it reaches men and women alike. You can substitute Target for your favorite store, like Frederick's of Hollywood or your local porn shop.

More traffic...

As if there isn't enough traffic between the neverending job on the Homestead Bridge, and the construction on the Parkway East, wait there's more!

Now you can expect monstrous delays on the Boulevard of the Allies and the Birmingham Bridge.

Can someone tell me, are there like 10 Penndots that don't really talk to each other except through The Force??? How does the average human being consider the following: Boulevard of the Allies is a way in and out of Oakland. The Birmingham Bridge is a way in and out of Oakland. The Bates Street ramp is a way in and out of Oakland. Let's close roads off to an already congested area of the city not just one way, BUT THREE. I don't give a fuck if its the weekend or evening or whatever, it is still an inconvenience for the folks that work and live there. Why didn't someone say, hey, lets do one thing at a time and be considerate of the folks that live there. I won't say why it wasn't thought of, but it has something to do with the conjuction of one's head and one's own asshole.

In one of the articles about this pinnacle of stupidity, Dan Cessna says, "This will be a challenging year for motorists as they travel through out the region." You think so Dan??? You are a fuckin genius man. Thanks for showing the rapid decline of both print press at the Post Gazette and the average IQ at Penndot.

It defies logic, and shows you that any fuckhead can work for Penndot. Don't worry if you are a moron and have the common sense of Lemming , as long as you know somebody and can do something stupid, you can work for Penndot.

Here is the Wikipedia entry for common sense. Penndot folks, please begin your research here.

Why press the walk button when you're crossing anyway?

If you're not one of those assblades that has to bike or walk everywhere (aka you are too poor to afford a car, don't give me that environment bullshit), you have come upon this instance:

A long light at a busy intersection. Traffic backed up to the point where you have a 3-4 light wait. Suddenly, some dickhead approaches the intersection on foot. By some moronic pavlovian instinct, they press the button without looking at the intersection or waiting to see what will happen. They stop, they look, and realize the traffic is going nowhere near their path of crossing, and they cross.

Then in addition to these rediculous long waits, thanks to the lights never being tested for inappropriate (aka waste of my fuckin time) wait times, a subject for another blog, ALL the traffic sits and looks stupidly at each other while the walk light blinks and not a soul is visible crossing. Everyone waits because inconsiderate FUCKHEAD didn't want to take 5 seconds to assess the situation and be thoughtful of all those trying to get home from work.

Next time you see one of these assholes pressing the button AS they fuckin cross, don't hesitate to say something to them for doing it. I have made a big deal about it on 1-2 angry occasions, one time being a very drunk passenger in a car combining it with threats when the hippy flicked me off. Then I got out and pushed him down to the ground, but that's another more delightful story...

The moral: Be considerate of people, and don't even press these walk buttons until you have been waiting at least a few minutes to cross. Or an even more terse moral: Don't be an inconsiderate asspipe.

Your kid is not so smart, stupid.

Who is sick and tired of hearing the following:

"My kid is an A student!"

"My kid moved up one grade in reading!"

"My kid has been on the honor roll for 2 years now!"

Whoopity fuckin doo Pittsburgh people. The fact is that with grade inflation rampant and kids not being challenged, ITS NO ACCOMPLISHMENT TO DO THESE THINGS!!

38% of kids are reporting A averages. That doesn't sound so bad considering that less that 20 % are reporting D's and F's combined!!! Talk about skewing the in grades to A's, B's, and even C's!!

I know EXACTLY what problems are in our school systems today. Among them are administrations and teachers who bend over when a parent gets angry and threatens the loss of their job. As an untenured faculty (aka I could ACTUALLY get fired if I hit on a kid), I too enjoyed the congo-line buttbanging by parents, and had to do a little asskissing when I lost my temper. If a parent was upset that I gave their kid a C when they "should have had an A", I had to march right down to the principal's office and address the concern. Sounds like being in school for me all over again.

Your kid is not special, and making them feel like they are not a dime a dozen (like most of us REALLY are), helps them work harder to accomplish things. If they think they are "owed" things because they are "special", they never will work hard for anything, and be surprised why they NEVER make any real money, and are divorced by 24.

I'll make things easy for you. Here are some major accomplishments your kid should reach before I want to hear about how great they are:

-Don't even fuckin mention grades until your kid is at least a junior in college with a 3.5. Anything below a 3.9 in high school doesn't impress me or most people who see alot of high school grades.

-They don't get into a serious brush with the law. Stuff like underage drinking and simple assault are barely crimes, more like "rites of passage." You can exclude those when considering this rule.

-They don't knock someone up before they plan on it.

-They actually get a job out of college that is competitive, not one of those bullshit financial jobs that every resume gets an inquiry about.

-If they are a guy, they show me a picture of the girl they are banging and I say, "nice..." and mean it.

If all these are not in effect, don't talk to me or anyone else about your kid. I couldn't care less.

Mostly Useless Baldwin-Whitehall Teachers Striking-Comments from a Former Teacher

When are we going to rid ourselves of the USELESS teacher union?

I am (un)proud to say I went to Baldwin and it hardly got me prepared for college. I needed to retake all my math classes because those A's and B's they gave me at the high school amounted next to fuckin nothing (they might as well have given me D's and F's).

I was a teacher at one of the better area high schools, I swear to God, for one year before persuing work in the business world. All the whining in the teachers' lounge and disgusting union meetings made me ill. I couldn't fathom making less money than a teacher who showed popular movies twice a week in his math class because he was too old to care anymore. What a loser.

Here are some facts to remember, before you get swept up in the Union Rhetoric:

-Teachers get off between mid-June and mid-August and have regular vacations like the rest of us (for the most part) plus most holidays the kids have. They will try and spin it that they will still have to work in the summer, and that is true for new teachers writing lessons, but anything extra they do besides lesson planning, THEY GET PAID FOR IT. One of my collegues made an extra couple grand every year being the teacher rep for some science shit, and basically showed up once a Saturday for a few weeks, plus for an event and a few after school gigs. Nice money for something they should do anyway. Trust me that old teachers NEVER do lesson planning, so their summers are spent at the beach.

-In some districts, teachers of 17-18 years make upwards of 85k! Baldwin is listed as a POOR PERFORMING SCHOOL DISTRICT and gets a near average salary for the area and pretty high for the rest of the country? Can you imagine you are paying a below average employee an average wage?

-Teachers get tenure usually after 3 years. Can you imagine, that after 3 years you never have to compete for your job again? The only stress you create is your own, because guess what, you get a PROSCIBED RAISE each year no matter how good or bad you do. Talk about socialism.

I could rant about this all day. Don't confuse this kind of union with the unions that have faught for workers rights from greedy corporations throughout history. This is a greedy union, who pushes their propaganda down to good and bad teachers alike, and makes them feel they are worth more than they really are. Like they are owed something. This isn't stealing from a greedy company, this is stealing from YOU the tax payer.

As always, I have an easy solution to all of this:
-Pay teachers a base salary, plus an amount per class they teach. This keeps it fair, and ensures you put the best teachers on the most classes.
-Eliminate tenure. NO OTHER JOBS have tenure outside of education. Eliminating tenure puts stress on teachers to keep up strong performance every year. Keep the great teachers, do away with the shitty ones.
-Not all teachers are created equal. So don't pay them that way. Pay the great ones MORE than 85k and well before that 18 year mark. Eliminate or demote to subs the shitty teachers.

Our kids deserve better. Our taxmoney and citizens deserve better. There is nothing wrong with our schools that eliminating the teacher's union won't fix.
Even Steve Jobs, founder of Apple and pretty liberal, has choice words to say about the oligarchy called the teacher union.

I can't urge you enough to defy these bums. Remember, Baldwin teachers are making an average of 55k to teach kids at a below average level. More money isn't going to help anyone but the teachers line their pocketbooks, and the union leaders have more money. It is more money PLUS newer and better teachers MINUS a teacher's union that will solve our problems. Just think back to your time and imagine that that bitchy masculine woman of a gym teacher was making 85k. Do you think your parents' tax money was worth it???

Its too bad that the minority of amazing and caring teachers out there have to get lumped in with the rest of the lazy worthless bums that are babysitters and not teachers.

Don't honk in support of them when you drive by. Throw them the finger, and a few choice words. Make this strike or any they do in the future MISERABLE for them.

Do we need a UPMC Watch blog?

I have toyed with starting a UPMC watch blog. Here is another interesting story today of how these assholes continue to make more and more money, yet provide shitty service with 50% bitchy nurses (and to be fair 50% wonderful nurses who can't stand their employer), expensive parking for family and patients, and slow and unorganized discharge plans, where people just sit...and wait...to get out, and the insurance companies and families get stuck with the extended bill. Who is watching UPMC? They never have to pay taxes, they have no one to answer to because they run 90% of the area hospitals, and they whine about their costs like a corporation, while they have two loaves of bread under their arms.

Look at this article about the revenues and profits UPMC has made in a half of its fiscal year. Sick.

Who is asking the questions? How does a hospital make so much money yet provide such shit service? I am not talking about the amazing doctors. I am not talking about that portion of compassionate nurses. Visit a close family member there for a few days and understand what I mean. Why can't they provide parking for families of terminal patients? Why can't they provide TV for free? Why can't they charge store cost for pills and meds? A tylenol can cost the price of a bottle.

Stop being jagoffs and blaming the insurance companies. No wonder they don't want to pay for shit because they are getting ripped off too! Why can't UPMC sell shares like a public company, because I would love to be in on some of this cash.

I can diss Romoff all day, but that jerkoff and his minions are sharp, and while making that kind of money he will never leave that unaccountable position.

Hey Ravelchild, this is your chance to be a real mayor and ask some questions, instead of an overgrown frat boy tough guy.

UPMC St. Margaret's-Big Insult to Injury

So I head to UPMC St. Margaret's Hospital today to visit a pal of mine who has a chronic illness. He frequently has to be admitted due to pain, where subsequently they dope him up since there is no cure, and he lays there zombified until his pain goes away. But I digress.

Upon arrival to the suburban hospital, I find that for a half an hour visit I must pay THREE DOLLARS to park in their lot. There are 3 lots, none of which are being used except the one I am parked in, and the one I am using barely has any cars in it.

Now this hospital isn't run by the Shriners, where you may expect them to ask for handouts since they dish out all the cash themselves, and may ask for the 3 bucks to help pay for property. This isn't a hospital run by the Sisters of Mercy where they may ask you to toss in a buck or two to help out. This is UPMC, the KING of hospitals in the western PA area, not to mention a hospital basically in Fox Chapel where Pittsburgh's richest live!

The Hospital also expects my friend to dish out 5 bucks a day for TV service. Can he bring his own in? No. But he has to use their piece of shit service with 5 fuckin channels on it.

Just for your info, UPMC made a record $523 million in their '06 fiscal year (they have been trending up.) There are companies that would give their arms for 1/10th of that. They brag about their $60 million in charitable care. Don't believe this shit. If it wasn't for the bad press for refusing someone, I just can't see these dickheads handing a dime to anyone. If people still can't afford it, where is all my medicare money going???

If you expect me to pay even a DIME for my parking, then I expect you to provide full security to my car. WHAT THE FUCK AM I PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR?? If my car gets fucked up, or busted into, you should be liable. Don't put those jerkoffish "Park at your own risk" signs. If you are taking my money, I want a service.

The ironic thing is, if I weren't a member of the interminably stupid as well, I would park on one of those fancy streets a block or two away and not pay a dime. But silly me.

Hey Jeff Romoff, CEO of UPMC, maybe you can give back some of that 2.4 mil you earned in 2005 so that you don't have to ask people with friends and families with cancer to begin our agony 1000 steps earlier into the hospital by paying your redicuous parking fee. Fuck yourself, Romoff, you asshole.

First Post, here it comes...

This is my first post.

What is this blog about?

I wanted to try out this blogging thing, because it seems so theraputic. No one gets pissed about things like I do, and I KNOW I am not the only person who gets annoyed at shit that goes on in Pittsburgh.

So when things come up that annoy me, I'm going to post. If you agree, then contact me. If you don't, contact me. If you don't like what I post, then go fuck yourself, I probably hate you anyway.