Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Easy Fix to Make the Pittsburgh Pirates Better...

Want to make the Pittsburgh Pirates better? It's easy. Until they start winning, STOP GOING TO THE FUCKIN GAMES!!!!!!!

Here is the scenerio. You shop at Target, for example. I have NO problem with Target, this is purely an example. You go there and something really shitty happens. Everytime you buy something from there, its fucked up, the service sucks, employees are rude, whatever. If you went to target once, and had great experiences, you won't complain at that one shit experience. Maybe twice. But what if Target fucked you FOURTEEN TIMES. Would you still shop there? NO. SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING A TEAM WITH 14 LOSING SEASONS????

The latest in a string of articles talks about them trying to be media darlings, and how with good feeling they'll break 500. What a load of shit. And don't give me this loyalty bullshit. You wouldn't be loyal to ANYONE who let you down 14 times. The Pirates should be no different.

Instead you get that sports lovin' jackass who would watch Kangaroo boxing if it was popular, and that stupid bitch who likes going to the games because they're fun. Stupid. You continue to pay, they continue to make money and nothing changes, including the whining at how much they suck, and the perpetual, "WOW, they may break 500 this year?" Yeah, and I may grow a third penis. Err second.

Here is my solution, since obviously what they have tried hasn't worked in 14 years. No matter how much you love baseball, no matter how much you like watching the game on the TV, boycott them. Don't go to games, don't click on their channel, don't put them on the radio. Let them know why you won't see them, and DON'T PUSSY OUT WHEN THEY THREATEN TO SELL THE TEAM. THEY WILL NEVER EVER EVER SELL THAT TEAM ANYWHERE.

If you did this to Target, guess what? The owners would realize the disgust of the customers, and spend money and time investing in being the best. On the contrary, if you continued to shop at Target, and they sucked but made money, they have less impetus to change.

Hit that piece of shit Kevin McClatchy, owner and stingy cocksucker where it hurts. He will be forced to spend more on the team, and in the long run, that suffering year or two without baseball may payoff to a lifetime franchise of fun.

This is perhaps the best analogy ever, and I am proud and I hope it reaches men and women alike. You can substitute Target for your favorite store, like Frederick's of Hollywood or your local porn shop.

No comments: