Road Closures at Rediculous Levels in Pittsburgh

Yet again, roads are closed everywhere in Pittsburgh. Tunnels like the Squirrel Hill are continuously closed on the weekends leading to massive traffic tie ups. I mean just look at all the closures on the contruction round up page. WHen the fuck is the I-79 work going to be done? I have been driving down to Morgantown for several years and I feel like it just never ends. How long does it take for you construction fuckheads to get this done? Are these Union bums who can only for 5 hours out of an 8 hour day, and overtime costs tax payers an arm and a leg??????

Here are VERY simple solutions to fix these problems if someone in this city/county/state had some cojones:

1) Don't hire union labor. The unions did their job and got rid of greedy folks who wanted more money then they needed (if you believe all that socialist bullshit). Let them picket. Let them whine. Hell they don't even picket themselves some of them are so lazy, they use union dues to hire college kids and bums who do it for them. With teams that can work around the clock, these jobs will be done in no time.

2) Start hiring based on quality, not on lowest bid. Get bids based on "road quality guarantee". That is, first, if the road goes to shit, the contractor will have to pay their own time and money later to repair it, PLUS pay for inspection to insure it will last this time PLUS be liable if the city decides they suck and wants to hire someone else to do it. If they can't do it right, their company should have to pay someone who can...why should we???

3) Hire based on time time. Say, we'll pay you this much, and you don't get paid until its done on time. If its not done, not only does the amount you get begin to drop, but you start picking up your own bill. Again, you will have a choice: get rid of workers who can't work around the clock for decent workers or lose money.

I'd like to hear more ideas on this, so get em out there. How else can we fix this "quagmire" of paying for shitty quality? Bring the power back into our hands and use the free market as well as ambition to drive building, and we can't go wrong.

Fire in the Hole! Hilareous new prank on Fast Food Losers

Check out this new prank that is happening around the country. In my opinion its hilareous, especially since fast food people are always miserable and fuck up orders (except at Chic-Fil-a where I must admit they never make mistakes and the food is usually pretty fresh.) If you DON'T Laugh at this, you are probably a jagoff and you probably won't like anything in my blog, so go fuck yourself and go back to your faggity PETA or global warming blogs.

Coming back soon...

Hey everyone,

Its been a while, but I will shortly be returning after some major changes in real life to continue the blogging. Basically in 2 short months I have:

-Finished an old Masters
-Worked on a new bachelors
-Promoted to Middle Management in my company which has doubled my workload

The blog had to take a break. I am impressed to see I still get hits despite not posting for nearly two months, and they still approach triple digit numbers!!!!!!!!!

I have plenty of stuff to bitch about including Ravenfucknut our useless mayor, more poorly run construction (if I ran jobs like that I would be shitcanned right now), drink taxes (as if we aren't taxed enough, greedy politicians want more,) etc.

See you VERY soon.

Illegal Immigrants making their way into Pittsburgh

Have you heard this story? Probably not because the stupid liberal whiny douchebags that write for newspapers feel guilty for it. Police picked up 6 illegals on our OWN PARKWAY.

Now why even post this? Well, it speaks to a multitude of problems. First, the next time your neighbor is collecting an unemployment check because his blue collar work ends for the summer and he gets temporarily laid off, well, here is a PERFECT job he could do in the meantime. Laying cable is just as honorable as running a business or teaching, and this is a job that should have been available, and frankly forced on, people in our country who don't want to work or take advantage of "laid off" time or welfare time. Guess what that means for you when people off welfare have to work? Less tax money taken out of your check.

Second of all, doesn't Verizon do checks on their subcontractors? When their cable is being laid and none of the guys speak English, isn't that troublesome?? If you are smart, you will mention your disgust to Verizon about who they keep company with.

And stop all this shit about "well were your grandparents born in this country?" No they weren't and frankly that was then and this is now and I don't give a shit. If you believe in that, let's just let everyone in, so they can suck up jobs, take handouts from the government and just drain our system dry like the old hard-ons did to that pool in the movie Cocoon. Plus my grandparents saved up for years and got the authorization to come here. They didn't sneak in when they weren't welcome.

Nobody's parents were born here except maybe the Indians, and don't give me that bullshit about this being their land. Ever see that movie Last of The Mohicans? Those fuckin savages!

Viva la Pittsburgh!

Good Riddance Port Authority Routes and Dickhead Drivers

Pittsburgh Port Authority bus drivers are the worst. They are aggresive cocksuckers. That is a blog for another day, and we'll save that for the next time I have an incident with one of these dildos.

If you haven't been living under a rock, Port Authority is making cuts to its routes. People are up in arms and there are protests and all kinds of shit! Chicken Little, the sky is falling!!!

I say, fuck 'em. Here's a few good reasons:
-How many times have you passed a bus in the evening and seen 2 people on that huge bus. And I am not talking on the outskirts of town, but rather where the main route of the bus is supposed to get people. Do you realize we are picking up a huge bill for those 2 morons?
-Cars are fucking cheap. I know some people are poor, I KNOW. But we are getting into an age where things are too spread out to rely on buses. The only places buses should run are places like Oakland and Downtown where parking is not free.
-Why the FUCK should I pay for your bus when I never need to use it? It should be your problem. If they need to hike rates because you need it, again, YOU SHOULD PAY THOSE. It is the price you pay for not having a car. If your rate is 3 bucks a ride, tough shit. This isn't socialism and this isn't like roads and school systems that everyone use. Only some people use the bus. So, only those SOME people should pay for it. I don't ask you to pay for my internet even when you don't have it, and you shouldn't ask me.

Bus drivers are overpaid, undertalented assholes. Any moron can do that job. Literally ANYONE who can drive can use a bus. This isn't a teaching job, or a tough blue collar job like construction. You sit in a temperature controlled bus everyday and the worst thing that happens is a smelly passenger, an argument, or the occasional police call.

You choose to live where you want. This is America. If there is no bus where you live, then move. This isn't medieval times where you are tied to your land like a vassal, asshole.

Gym Etiquette for Yinzers, Part 2-For Gym Users and Steroid Heads

Here is part two of my thrilling gym ettiquete installment:

Here are some tips for gym users:
-There is NO NEED TO BE NAKED in the locker room more than a minute to change clothes. Why do you have to walk around naked? Recently at the gym, this young guy talked on his cell phone, naked, for about 15 minutes, periodically staring down at his balls, and then the mirror. That boggles my mind-do you want to bang yourself? This isn't a 1950's gym class, or the army. Put your clothes on. Just because some hag told you that you had a great knob 20 years ago doesn't mean the rest of us give a shit. And old guys, WOW do you have pathetically small dicks. I thought I was small...

-Clean off the machine when you're done. That's why those spray bottles are all around. See that slimy patch where your head was? Clean it up. And stop sweating already for fuck's sake.

-Stop bullshitting and lift weights, especially if you are holding up the only Smith Machine in the joint. I have shit to do and so do others, so if you want to talk on the phone, go grab your cell and head out the door. I know you steroids love talking about your workouts, but I don't have time for that shit.

-Don't scream when you lift. I understand there is grunting involved, especially when you are pressing, but you aren't Schwartzenegger, or even close to being a professional. No need to bang weights either, for that matter.

-The water fountain is meant for SHORT drinks. See that line behind you? Stop filling your water bottle for 5 minutes asshole. If you are filling and see someone behind you, move out of the way.

-Quit using multiple machines fucko. Maybe the "hot" workout thing is supersetting, but it wastes valuable space and everyone else's time.

-Don't use your cell phone IN the gym. Can't you walk outside or to the locker room?

-Fat people...stop wasting your time. The first step to weight loss is to STOP EATING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can make this article about 10 times longer, but I think these are great action steps for losers who use the gym for recreation like others use clubs, bars or vaginas.

Gym Etiquette for Yinzers-Part 1

I know how much yinzers love their exercise. Here is a two part series about how to make our gyms more inviting, starting with better management.

Here are some tips for gym owners and employees:
-Say hello to me when I come in. If you go to any other business, you are greeted warmly. Every gym I go to has lukewarm staff. Nothing annoys us more when the workers who are human steroids pair up with other human steroids and clique off, making you feel like a douche if you can't bench 300 lbs. Just SMILE AND SAY HELLO when I come in. That is ALL I ask.
-Set the weights back with other weights and straighten the place up at night.
-Fix the equipment. Every fuckin gym has so much broken shit, from broken chairs to fucked up pulleys. It can't be that expensive, and when you sold me the membership, that is what was sold to me. If I wanted to be flaky with my membership, you would tell me to pound salt into my asshole and then threaten to take me to court for not paying, we should expect the same from you.
-Temperature is ALWAYS a problem in those places. A gym should be almost freezing. If my prick hasn't shrunk to the size of a grape, its not cold enough. Get a new AC unit, because I deserve it with the prices I am paying.
-You can never have too many machines. Go buy more.

Next time: Douchebag behavior at the gym by gym members...