Tuesday, March 27, 2007

More traffic...

As if there isn't enough traffic between the neverending job on the Homestead Bridge, and the construction on the Parkway East, wait there's more!

Now you can expect monstrous delays on the Boulevard of the Allies and the Birmingham Bridge.

Can someone tell me, are there like 10 Penndots that don't really talk to each other except through The Force??? How does the average human being consider the following: Boulevard of the Allies is a way in and out of Oakland. The Birmingham Bridge is a way in and out of Oakland. The Bates Street ramp is a way in and out of Oakland. Let's close roads off to an already congested area of the city not just one way, BUT THREE. I don't give a fuck if its the weekend or evening or whatever, it is still an inconvenience for the folks that work and live there. Why didn't someone say, hey, lets do one thing at a time and be considerate of the folks that live there. I won't say why it wasn't thought of, but it has something to do with the conjuction of one's head and one's own asshole.

In one of the articles about this pinnacle of stupidity, Dan Cessna says, "This will be a challenging year for motorists as they travel through out the region." You think so Dan??? You are a fuckin genius man. Thanks for showing the rapid decline of both print press at the Post Gazette and the average IQ at Penndot.

It defies logic, and shows you that any fuckhead can work for Penndot. Don't worry if you are a moron and have the common sense of Lemming , as long as you know somebody and can do something stupid, you can work for Penndot.

Here is the Wikipedia entry for common sense. Penndot folks, please begin your research here.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Why press the walk button when you're crossing anyway?

If you're not one of those assblades that has to bike or walk everywhere (aka you are too poor to afford a car, don't give me that environment bullshit), you have come upon this instance:

A long light at a busy intersection. Traffic backed up to the point where you have a 3-4 light wait. Suddenly, some dickhead approaches the intersection on foot. By some moronic pavlovian instinct, they press the button without looking at the intersection or waiting to see what will happen. They stop, they look, and realize the traffic is going nowhere near their path of crossing, and they cross.

Then in addition to these rediculous long waits, thanks to the lights never being tested for inappropriate (aka waste of my fuckin time) wait times, a subject for another blog, ALL the traffic sits and looks stupidly at each other while the walk light blinks and not a soul is visible crossing. Everyone waits because inconsiderate FUCKHEAD didn't want to take 5 seconds to assess the situation and be thoughtful of all those trying to get home from work.

Next time you see one of these assholes pressing the button AS they fuckin cross, don't hesitate to say something to them for doing it. I have made a big deal about it on 1-2 angry occasions, one time being a very drunk passenger in a car combining it with threats when the hippy flicked me off. Then I got out and pushed him down to the ground, but that's another more delightful story...

The moral: Be considerate of people, and don't even press these walk buttons until you have been waiting at least a few minutes to cross. Or an even more terse moral: Don't be an inconsiderate asspipe.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Your kid is not so smart, stupid.

Who is sick and tired of hearing the following:

"My kid is an A student!"

"My kid moved up one grade in reading!"

"My kid has been on the honor roll for 2 years now!"

Whoopity fuckin doo Pittsburgh people. The fact is that with grade inflation rampant and kids not being challenged, ITS NO ACCOMPLISHMENT TO DO THESE THINGS!!

38% of kids are reporting A averages. That doesn't sound so bad considering that less that 20 % are reporting D's and F's combined!!! Talk about skewing the in grades to A's, B's, and even C's!!

I know EXACTLY what problems are in our school systems today. Among them are administrations and teachers who bend over when a parent gets angry and threatens the loss of their job. As an untenured faculty (aka I could ACTUALLY get fired if I hit on a kid), I too enjoyed the congo-line buttbanging by parents, and had to do a little asskissing when I lost my temper. If a parent was upset that I gave their kid a C when they "should have had an A", I had to march right down to the principal's office and address the concern. Sounds like being in school for me all over again.

Your kid is not special, and making them feel like they are not a dime a dozen (like most of us REALLY are), helps them work harder to accomplish things. If they think they are "owed" things because they are "special", they never will work hard for anything, and be surprised why they NEVER make any real money, and are divorced by 24.

I'll make things easy for you. Here are some major accomplishments your kid should reach before I want to hear about how great they are:

-Don't even fuckin mention grades until your kid is at least a junior in college with a 3.5. Anything below a 3.9 in high school doesn't impress me or most people who see alot of high school grades.

-They don't get into a serious brush with the law. Stuff like underage drinking and simple assault are barely crimes, more like "rites of passage." You can exclude those when considering this rule.

-They don't knock someone up before they plan on it.

-They actually get a job out of college that is competitive, not one of those bullshit financial jobs that every resume gets an inquiry about.

-If they are a guy, they show me a picture of the girl they are banging and I say, "nice..." and mean it.

If all these are not in effect, don't talk to me or anyone else about your kid. I couldn't care less.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Protesters should be beaten, not tased

I don't have much this week to post. Actually I have lots but I am recovering from a long, out of country trip. It has been a while and I am actually surprised at all the page views I get, despite little advertisement. Thanks Google, Yahoo, Pittsburgh Bloggers, etc.

Anyways one thing I, as well as many Pittsburghers, cannot stand are fuckin protesters. Nothing more foul than driving by those abortion nuts with aborted fetus pictures. Next time I get nauseous and see one of those I am going to get out of my car and vomit on them.

One experience I had last year was during one of those pinko war protests (I REFUSE to discuss certain national stuff on here like the war, so if I get an email or post about it either way, I'll pitch it ASAP). As I drove down Forbes in Oakland, suddenly a bunch of dirty hippy scumbag cocksuckers decided to move from the sidewalk and take over the street and hold up ALL of the traffic. It was my prayer that someone would have mowed them down with their truck or perhaps a backhoe, but I was not so lucky.

Don't hold up traffic or waste my time for your faggity ideals on either side of political spectrum. Don't like the war? Go protest in front of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, not on a street I use on my day off. Don't like abortions? Go protest in front of some abortion clinic and disturb the parents. Don't make me sick on my way to work.

You have a right to protest. You DON'T have a right to waste my time or make me sick for your ideals that I couldn't care less either way about. Protest in front of my house and you'll get the contents of my toilet in your hair. Of course, since the vast majority of protesters are filthy hippies, that may be an improvement. At least in the smell...

And stop wearing masks you fuckin pussies. If you are going to be a badass anarchist, at least have the balls to show your face. That way if you get in my face with your 30 buddies with you all riled up on protest day, the next time I see you in the bar in your polo I can knock you on your ass for trying to intimidate me.

Ain't so bad without the rest of the dreadlock army, are you?

In commemoration of piece of shit protestors, enjoy this video and I'll be back next week to protest on here.