Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Gym Etiquette for Yinzers-Part 1

I know how much yinzers love their exercise. Here is a two part series about how to make our gyms more inviting, starting with better management.

Here are some tips for gym owners and employees:
-Say hello to me when I come in. If you go to any other business, you are greeted warmly. Every gym I go to has lukewarm staff. Nothing annoys us more when the workers who are human steroids pair up with other human steroids and clique off, making you feel like a douche if you can't bench 300 lbs. Just SMILE AND SAY HELLO when I come in. That is ALL I ask.
-Set the weights back with other weights and straighten the place up at night.
-Fix the equipment. Every fuckin gym has so much broken shit, from broken chairs to fucked up pulleys. It can't be that expensive, and when you sold me the membership, that is what was sold to me. If I wanted to be flaky with my membership, you would tell me to pound salt into my asshole and then threaten to take me to court for not paying, we should expect the same from you.
-Temperature is ALWAYS a problem in those places. A gym should be almost freezing. If my prick hasn't shrunk to the size of a grape, its not cold enough. Get a new AC unit, because I deserve it with the prices I am paying.
-You can never have too many machines. Go buy more.

Next time: Douchebag behavior at the gym by gym members...

3 comments:

TheTruth said...

I've got two for you.

There is a asshole at my gym who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to scrape the dead skin off his feet in the sauna. Do that shit at home you disgusting fuck. I don't want to watch you do that or walk around on your nasty dead skin cells.

Also, old dudes who hang around the locker room buck naked with everything swinging in the wind while they shoot the shit each other about sports, politics, or the weather. Cover your shit up, get dressed, and go to a coffee shop. This is a health club, not a friggin' nudist colony.

Gravis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gravis said...

Note: I just deleted and redid my last post (made it gym class instead of gym) because I made a dumbass error-nothing was censored except my stupidity.

TheTruth,

You nailed it. Its fuckin the new millenium. Nobody showers or gets naked at the gym class anymore. Its like when old people can't use fuckin technology. "I don't want to use this, its too confusing." Its TWO FUCKIN BUTTONS. You have inspired a new blog post. Thank you my friend.